Tuesday 27 December 2011

'Living a balanced, authentic and fulfilling life'...




The process of healing ourselves and our lives involves being mindful of mind, body and spirit. When one aspect is out of balance, all are out of balance. Having balance in life is essential for living an authentic, happy and fulfilling life. Take stock of your life and resolve to heal, or change, anything that is unbalanced. This takes courage, but you don't have to struggle alone in this process. Ask for support from family, friends, and/or your counsellor. In taking note of the following points, you can start making positive changes in life now.


One: Know Your Identity, Beliefs and Values

Getting to know yourself is essential for living an authentic life. Once you are in tune with yourself and you really know, love and accept who you are, and you know what makes you feel happy, it follows that you are much more likely to live a life that somehow feels just right. When you know what your beliefs and values are, you can live your life in accordance with what is really important to you. Life will flow more smoothly.

• Find out what you really love to do; what inspires you, makes you feel alive, happy and satisfied; then do these things often

• Nurture yourself - on all levels; mind, body and spirit

• Be true to yourself. Define yourself by who you are – not by the perceptions of others

• Always make the right choices for you, whatever the circumstances

• Treat yourself and others with respect

• Think about some ‘rules’ you’d like to live your life by, write them down, and commit to them



Two: Let go - of the old; hurts and pains, regrets, and negative thought patterns

In letting go, we can move forward, with less baggage weighing us down.

• First, feel and explore the feelings, then think about what you can learn from the experience, and then let go so that you can get closure and move on



Three: Forgive Freely

Forgiving doesn’t mean that what was said or done was acceptable, but it is part of letting go and is essential for living life with a peaceful heart.

• Take responsibility; don’t blame others

• By embracing forgiveness, you embrace peace and hope



Four: Have Faith – in yourself, in the process; in life...

With faith, almost anything is possible.

• Faith is trusting, having hope in your heart, and believing that all will be well.



Five: Live mindfully, with presence.

Take time out to pause and reflect regularly, on a daily basis. Awareness is the key to deeper knowledge and inner wisdom.

• Introduce clarity and simplicity into your life; every day

• Be focused and effective – concentrate your energies

• Inspire the people around you



Six: Take action – make positive changes in your life. Set realistic and achievable goals...

Don’t just think about doing it – do it!! But plan it first. You wouldn’t set off on a long journey without preparing and planning in advance, so apply the same care and attention to your journey through life. But don’t just focus on achieving your ultimate goal – enjoy each step of the journey along the way.

• Determine your priorities and your responsibilities

• Use your knowledge and inner wisdom to empower you

• Make the most of your talents, abilities and best qualities; your self-esteem will be lifted by indulging fully in your talents

• Plot your own direction in life



Seven: Gratitude and Thanksgiving

Finally, find something to be grateful for everyday. Be joyful. Living life joyfully means that it is possible to rise above the problems and difficulties we encounter, and still be happy.

• Start living each day by your new philosophy – and begin the process of self-growth and living a happy, fulfilled, and enriching life

• By completely involving yourself in life, and making a firm commitment to yourself, it follows that you’ll feel good about yourself and your life, and you’ll be full of gratitude and wonder!

• Love life and live it to the full!

Thursday 8 December 2011

Tenacity...



from

Tenacity (1971):

I sit for hours at the window
Preparing a letter; you are coming toward me,
We are balanced like dancers in memory,
I feel your coat, I smell your clothes,
Your tobacco, you almost touch me.

by Ruth Stone


Ruth Stone died last month, at the age of 96. Many of her poems convey a haunting feeling of loss and bittersweetness; they are“love poems, all written to a dead man”; written after her husband ended his life, leaving her to bring up three daughters on her own...


Monday 21 November 2011

Acts of Kindness...



I came across this little story today, so thought I'd share it...


Hospital Window
Author Unknown

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.

One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window.

The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.

The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.

Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by.

Although the other man couldn't hear the band - he could see it. In his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.
Days and weeks passed.

One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed.

It faced a blank wall.
The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.

The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.

She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."


Epilogue:

There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.

Monday 14 November 2011

Inspiration...



Without inspiration the best powers of the mind remain dormant.
There is a fuel in us which needs to be ignited with sparks.
-Johann Gottfried Von Herder





Ispiration is everywhere...
Notice it...
Connect with it...
Embrace it...
Love it




Thursday 10 November 2011

Relax; take it easy...



 
 
 
Some of my clients find  it helpful to have a short relaxation exercise at the start or end of a session. Relaxation can help with no end of complaints, including sleeplessness, anxiety, feeling disconnected, stressed, and so on... I thought that I'd try recording a short session to see how it sounds - if there is good feedback then I'll record some more...
Close your eyes, listen and relax...
 
 

Sticks and stones...



I came across this on facebook, and thought I'd share it, as it gives out an important lesson about bullying, going against the old (and untrue) adage 'sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me'...


"A teacher in New York was teaching her class about bullying and gave them the following exercise to perform.


 She had the children take a piece of paper and told them to crumple it up, stomp on it and really mess it up, but do not rip it. 

 
Then she had them unfold the paper, smooth it out and look at how scarred and dirty it was. She then told them to tell it they’re sorry. Now even though they said they were sorry and tried to fix the paper, she pointed out all the scars they left behind. And that those scars will never go away no matter how hard they tried to fix it. 

 

That is what happens when a child bullies another child, they may say they’re sorry but the scars are there forever. The looks on the faces of the children in the classroom told her the message hit home". via A B Counselling

I feel I should add that, yes, it's true, bullying does leave scars, and as a counsellor I have seen the effects lasting into adulthood. People who have been bullied in childhood can still suffer from low self esteem as adults, and can find themselves in the role of 'victim' in relationships and at work too. Although the emotional scars can't ever be completely erased, I think it has to be said that victims of bullies don't have to be victims forever. There is hope out there! It is possible to build up self esteem, and to become more confident and assertive, and to be able to achieve a sense of self worth and inner peace, which leads to happier, helathier relationships in all areas of life...

Learn to love your scars - they are part of your life, your story, and they can teach you a lot about life and yourelf...

Wednesday 9 November 2011

On Pain...

'Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.' Kahlil Gibran



'Pain is a part of life. Sometimes it’s a big part, and sometimes it isn’t, but either way, it’s a part of the big puzzle, the deep music, the great game. Pain does two things: It teaches you, tells you that you’re alive. Then it passes away and leaves you changed. It leaves you wiser, sometimes. Sometimes it leaves you stronger. Either way, pain leaves its mark, and everything important that will ever happen to you in life is going to involve it in one degree or another.'
Jim Butcher


 I came across the above passage earlier tonight and the words ring so true to me. It is actually something that I had already been reflecting upon over the last few days anyway.
 Don't be afraid to feel pain. You can learn so much from it...
Unfortunately it seems that these days we are bombarded by messages that seem to be telling us that we should be 'happy', confident and filled with positivity.
There is no time for feeling sad, unhappy or angry.
We live in a world where we expect things to happen so quickly that we become frustrated and impatient when things take longer than we'd  hoped - whether it's waiting for a pizza to be delivered, or waiting for a reply to an email or text message. We aren't prepared to wait, so fast is the pace of life nowadays.
The same seems to be true when it comes to working through our emotions. People want to be feeling better as soon as possible - they want to be seen to be happy and strong and coping.
This piles extra pressure (both internally and externally) onto people who are already feeling low and quite possibly quite fragile too. Feelings get pushed aside and covered up, or ignored, rather than the time being taken to really explore, understand, accept, experience and most importantly to actually feel those feelings and learn from them.
The trouble is, in putting off actually feeling these feelings, the opportunity to learn from them is missed. The feelings get bottled up and up until the day comes that they all come bursting out in sometimes quite an alarming way. And then it takes a lot longer to sift through them all.
It's much more effective and healthy (and natural) to feel the feelings as and when they arise, rather than pushing them away. It seems that  lot of people out there are actually afraid of their feelings - afraid they might get swallowed up by them, worried that they might lose themselves and that they might never be able to find themselves again...
And this is actually quite true...
In immersing yourself in the feelings of pain and loss and grief, you can feel as if you're drowning and lost and it is scary, and it's true that you might not find yourself again, because when you emerge again, you are a different you. Your pain has had an impact upon you, it will have changed you and taught you and the chances are that you won't be quite the same as you were before.
But you will have changed in positive ways.
Rather than becoming hard, angry, bitter, resentful, angry, depressed and/or withdrawn as a result of hiding your feelings away, in embracing your feelings the chances are you'll become wiser, stronger, calmer, and more open than before, with a sense of inner peace and wisdom and the courage and confidence to be able to face and accept whatever challenges present themselves to you in the future.

 'Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding' (Kahlil Gibran)

...feeling that pain is like finding the key to unlock the heavy gates and chains around your heart and soul... Let its voice be heard - your inner voice, your inner wisdom - it is waiting to guide you forward - through the pain and beyond, to a life that is filled with a deep sense of calm, acceptance and inner peace....





Friday 4 November 2011

Autumnwatch...


"Autumn is marching on: even the scarecrows are wearing dead leaves."- Otsuyu Nakagawa


This is such a lovely time of year! It's nice to be warm and cosy indoors, with candlelight flickering, but it's also lovely to get wrapped up and go outdoors to enjoy the fresh air and autumn colours... Hope you enjoy November, both indoors and owhen you're out and about!

Mindfulness...




 
The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past,
nor to worry about the future, 
but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly. 

Buddhist quotes

Friday 21 October 2011

Higher than the sun...



Far away in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.
Louisa May Alcott



Autumn blaze...



A woodland in full colour is awesome as a forest fire, in magnitude at least, but a single tree is like a dancing tongue of flame to warm the heart.
Hal Borland ♥



I love this time of year!



Tuesday 18 October 2011

October...




"October's the month

When the smallest breeze

Gives us a shower

Of autumn leaves.

Bonfires and pumpkins,

Leaves sailing down -

October is red

And golden and brown."

- Can Teach Songs


I love the warm colours of October... the leaves, the sky, sunrises and the golden moon... There is something comforting and cosy about the orange, red and golden colours that we are blessed with this month.

Wrap up in cosy, cheerful clothes and be sure to get outdoors and enjoy the fiery blaze of autumn colours this month!


 


Monday 10 October 2011

Monday Monday...






It was a bit of a gloomy start to the week when I went for a walk this morning in what started out as drizzle, but soon turned into a consistent downpour...
However, the gloominess didn't dampen my spirits. I actually quite liked the refreshing feel of the rain on my face and the taste of raindrops splashing onto my tongue...
So often, it seems, people let the weather affect their mood. But it doesn't have to. If you feel content and happy on the inside, then surely whatever is happening in the world outside can't have too much influence over your state of mind... Yet in general, people do seem to be a lot happier when the sun is shining... Speaking of which, the sun has just managed to come out, and it's stopped raining now...
A reminder that the rain, like those bad moods, never lasts long...


Let the rain kiss you. Let the rain beat upon your head with silver liquid drops. Let the rain sing you a lullaby.
Langston Hughes


Saturday 8 October 2011

The Sea...






I took these photos earlier. It was so invigorating to be walking along next to such amazing waves, towering over me... the spray splashing my face, the salt coating my lips like lipstick...
I felt so alive!
It felt good.

Friday 7 October 2011

Weather storm...



I was delighted to hear that Tomas Tranströmer‎ has been awarded the Nobel prize for literature, so here is one of his poems, which is quite fitting as I'm currently writing this whilst sitting looking out at the sea on this cold October day...


Weather Picture

The October sea glistens coldly
with its dorsal fin of mirages.

Nothing is left that remembers
the white dizziness of yacht races.

An amber glow over the village.
And all sounds in slow flight.

A dog’s barking is a hieroglyph
painted in the air above the garden

where the yellow fruit outwits
the tree and drops of its own accord.

by Tomas Tranströmer‎

Thursday 6 October 2011

perfect moment...

This Moment

A neighbourhood.
At dusk.
Things are getting ready
to happen
out of sight.
Stars and moths.
And rinds slanting around fruit.
But not yet.
One tree is black.
One window is yellow as butter.
A woman leans down to catch a child
who has run into her arms
this moment.
Stars rise.
Moths flutter.
Apples sweeten in the dark.

 by Eavan Boland


Today is national poetry day in the UK, so I thought I'd share a poem. This is from a collection called 'Poetry to Calm your Soul', compiled by Mimi Khalvati.

So many things happen in a single moment, yet how much do we actually notice?

Spend some time today (and everyday!) quietly observing a moment. 

What do you see?
Hear?
Smell?
Taste?
Feel?
Think?

In honour of poetry day, why not write a poem or some prose on the subject of 'This moment'?

Feel free to share what you write as a comment below.

You could also draw or photograph 'This Moment'
or create some music on the same theme...

the possiblities are endless!...


Friday 9 September 2011

Going with the flow...



When a cupboard is full to overflowing and the doors are opened up, that which is within comes tumbling out and nothing can stop it.

When floodgates are opened, the water rushes forth with tremendous power and force, carrying all before it.

So with the spiritual power within you; once it has been recognised and released, nothing can stop the flow.

It pours forth, sweeping aside all negativity and disharmony, bringing with it peace, love, harmony and understanding.

It is love that will overcome the world; it is love which will unite all humanity.

Therefore the sooner you release that tremendous power of love within you and allow it to flow freely, the sooner will you behold world peace and harmony and the oneness of all humanity.

When you have love in your heart, you draw the very best out of everyone, for love sees only the best and therefore draws forth the best.

Be not afraid; open up, hold nothing back, and let it all flow freely.

Eileen Caddy




Friday 24 June 2011

After the rain...



Hello again! Apologies for posting this on my other blog too, but it's a while since I've written a blog, so I thought I'd post it here too...Something I wrote earlier today when I was sitting on my bench, enjoying the sunshine for a few moments...


After the rain...
Summertime rain brings flowers
 and life
To once parched and barren
ground.
Gardens are alive
With a blaze of colour
Lifting spirits high...
Sitting for a while
I soak it all up
With gratitude and
 love.
Refreshed and 
renewed
Tranquility returns.
What was lost
Is found.

(24th June 2011)
 
 

Saturday 2 April 2011

Keep Turning the Pages...



I've posted this on my other  blog, but thought it would be useful to post it here too.
a thought for today:

" Life is like a book with many chapters we call seasons. 
Some chapters tell the story of love, drama, comedy, mystery, loss, adversity, growth, disappointment, triumph, etc. Some chapters are dull and ordinary, others intense and exciting. 
The key to enduring, persevering and being hopeful is to never stop on a difficult page, to never quit on a book or a chapter that seems too long. 
Some chapters may be sweet but too short. 
Your words, thoughts, actions, non-action and choices are the pens that write the pages in your book. 
Have the courage and faith to keep turning the pages believing better chapters lie ahead. 
... Trust. Listen. Believe. ... 
Activate your gifts and talents. 
Be creative. Be kind. Be patient. Be faithful. Be grateful. Be fruitful."
 
~ Diamond Taylor 

Saturday 26 March 2011

just a little update...

just to let you know - from now on, I'll be dividing my blog into two. My 'personal' blog will be over here and this blog will be more counselling / therapy / self-help / advice & information -related ...

Sunday 20 March 2011

Today, tomorrow, sometime, never...

Yesterday: Clouds through my kitchen window
Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky.
Rabindranath Tagore


Last night: 'Supermoon' and sea
And as the evening twilight fades away The sky is filled with stars, invisible by day.
~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

This morning...


Excuse me while I kiss the sky.
~ Jimi Hendrix

I haven't written a blog for a while - I'll maybe write more about this later, but in the meantime, I thought I'd share some of my latest photos and a few quotes...

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and 
          the stars; you have a right to be here.
                                                                     - Desiderata 

Sunday 6 March 2011

Don't look back in anger ...

AAARRRGHHHHH!!!!!
 AAARRRGHHHHH!!!!!

Some of you might have heard me talking about anger on BBC Radio Newcastle last week. As this is something many people struggle with, I thought I'd do a little blog about it... 

Anyone can become angry. That is easy. But
to be angry with the right person, to the right
degree, at the right time, for the right purpose
and in the right way... that is not easy.
-- Aristotle

Anger is a natural, healthy and normal human emotion. It is ok to get angry. It's how we deal with it and express it that's important. Anger is often badly managed and can be destructive when it is out of control. It's when it gets out of control and happens regularly and becomes aggressive that it has become a problem. On the other hand, if anger isn’t expressed it can lead to physical problems, depression and anxiety. There is a fine line between acknowledging anger and venting it until it is out of control. 

What are symptoms of an anger problem? 

• Explosive outbursts that cannot be controlled
• Rages when driving or at work
• Domestic violence and controlling behaviour
• Depression or anxiety may indicate introverted anger
• Alcohol or drug dependence may cover an anger problem


Triggers
Some of the things that contribute towards problems with anger include bottling things up, and not dealing with them, until boiling point is reached and one seemingly trivial incident can be the final straw, resulting in an explosion of anger. The use of alcohol, caffeine and certain drugs can also contribute, as can tiredness, stress, pain, hormones, bad time management and over-committing to too many things.

It is thought that some of the main reasons why we become angry involve:

  • Feeling threatened, hurt and/or under attack through verbal or physical abuse, or
  • Someone / something preventing you from doing something you’d planned / hoped to do/achieve, or
  • Someone violating your beliefs / morals; for example by being unfair / dishonest, or
  • Being in a situation where you feel helpless – things are out of your control – it seems that you can’t do anything about it. E.g. – being stuck in traffic, etc.

How to handle anger
It is important to remember that we always have a choice about how to deal with our anger.

We can try to choose to respond (think first) rather than react.

It is also important to accept that we are angry- ‘I’m angry; that’s ok’; rather than deny it; ‘I’m NOT angry!!’...

We also have the choice whether to keep our cool, or lose it.

We can be passive, aggressive or assertive in dealing with our anger.

• Passive – in being passive, we don’t really deal with the anger. It is bottled up and can turn inwards into depression or resentment, or can build up until we reach boiling point eventually.

• Aggressive – in being aggressive, we can become confrontational, violent and defensive and we aren’t really dealing with the anger effectively.

• Assertive – this is a responsible way of dealing with the anger. We acknowledge our anger and deal with it effectively: ‘I’m angry. I’m going to take some time out and will discuss it later when I feel calmer’.
Above all, in getting to know and understand ourselves better, we are more in tune with how we’re feeling from moment to moment, so we can deal with our anger effectively before it becomes a problem.

Top tips:

Anger can be a sign that it’s time to relax and cope better. If you are trying to deal with your anger in a more responsible way then the following check list may help you bring about some changes.

• Awareness: Get to know your warning signals. There may be obvious signs such as a rapid heart rate, headaches, tension and the urge to act impulsively. It may be that more passive symptoms arise, such as defensiveness, withdrawal, silence. You may notice yourself snapping at people and over-reacting.

• If you feel yourself getting angry, take a deep breath, relax, pause, and think! It is possible to feel angry and not to act on those feelings.

• Develop good communication skills - this is one of the most important things you can do. Talk about it. Admit that you’re angry - to yourself and others.

• Assertiveness – learn to say ‘No’, so that you don’t stretch yourself in too many directions. Know your limits and set boundaries so that you have a good balance in life. Take responsibility for maintaining a healthy work-life balance.

• Take 'time-out'. If you are getting nowhere in a heated discussion and you feel the warning signs of an angry outburst coming on, it's quite ok to say, "I don't think it's helpful for us to talk about this anymore right now, I need some time to think".

• Make sure you get plenty of fresh air and exercise, and have fun regularly. Also ensure you eat and drink healthily.

• Learn some relaxation and breathing techniques, assertiveness skills and meditation; they can be useful strategies, as can sport and all physical exercises, when you are trying to deal constructively with angry feelings.

• Try to look at the situation from different perspectives – for example if you can see the funny side of the situation, the anger will start to pass; humour is a great release and stress reliever!

• Try keeping an ‘Anger Diary’ for a week or so to see if there is a pattern to your anger. If you are regularly angry early in the morning, for example, you could look at changing your morning and bedtime routines.


Quotes
Anger is one letter short of danger ~ Author Unknown

If you kick a stone in anger, you'll hurt your own foot ~ Korean Proverb

No man can think clearly when his fists are clenched ~ George Jean Nathan

Let us not look back in anger or forward in fear, but around in awareness ~ James Thurber

Don't hold to anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you from love ~ Leo Buscaglia

Sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel ~ Author Unknown

10 Affirmations
Choose a short phrase that you can repeat to yourself when you find yourself becoming angry. For example:

• I replace my anger with a sense of calm
• I learn important lessons from my anger
• I can relax and go with the flow
• I can stay calm and relaxed
• I can control my anger
• I can cope with this
• I can let go of anger
• It’s ok to be angry
• Take it easy
• This will pass


Finally

Don’t struggle on your own. Ask for help and support. Speak to a counsellor if you'd like further support.

How anger management counselling may help: 

• Looking at your beliefs attached to your anger, including beliefs of those around you during childhood
• Examining and understanding your anger
• Understanding how anger affects your close relationships
• Taking responsibility for how you react or respond to anger
• Learning how to relax
• Simply being listened to can make a big difference.

Finally, treat yourself with love, kindness and compassion and try to lead a gentler life - be gentler on yourself, as well as others.


Friday 4 March 2011

In Another World ...

 Hello again! -  this is another rushed blog, as I have to go out soon, and have, as usual, been distracted by too many things so far this morning... 

This is a blog about Asperger's Syndrome - I had intended to write something more informative, but this will have to do for now.

Apologies to those who have already read  / seen some of this via facebook and/or twitter, but this is an issue that is close to my heart, and awareness needs to be raised. 

I found out yesterday that one of my friends on facebook with Asperger's Syndrome sadly ended his life last month. I hope he is at peace now.
This highlights once again that there is a desperate need for more understanding, awareness and acceptance of Asperger's Syndrome, and the isolation and turmoil that comes and goes throughout the years ...  
Not everyone is affected by AS in the same way - for example, it is thought that people with AS don't feel empathy, but this is not the case for all people with AS - some people are able to feel empathy to such an extent that it feels like they are feeling the suffering of the whole world in one go... 
It isn't all bad. People with AS may be gifted, quirky, creative, loyal, trustworthy, sensitive and caring individuals who have so much to offer the world... xx ...
Below, there is a little article from the Guardian newspaper, and then there is a video explaining more about AS and its impact. Thanks to Maire for the link to the video.
If you do a google search, you will be able to find more info. I'll hopefully write more another time. xx 

What I'm really thinking: The person with Asperger's syndrome

Lo Cole Jan 15
 
Illustration: Lo Cole for the Guardian
'I'm 50 and was diagnosed last year. Before then, I had no idea why social interaction was so hard. I thought everybody else had the same difficulties, but had overcome them. What strength of will they must have, I thought – look how easily they make eye contact; I must have a bad attitude, I simply can't be trying hard enough.
Decades ago, I learned to pretend I was coping by developing a passive, quiet exterior. I would still, when I plucked up the courage, expend enormous mental effort trying and failing to make conversation, while attempting to micro-manage disastrously inappropriate body language: standing too close, awkward gestures and a mask-like expression.
Now, I feel more lonely than ever. Diagnosis has brought increased self-knowledge, but it doesn't make things easier. Even now, I generally cannot think of a single thing to say; except, that is, for the painfully idiosyncratic responses that jam my brain.
How can they interact with each other so unselfconsciously, inhabit their lives so fully, be so comfortable in their own skin? I have tried and tried, but I cannot comprehend what life must be like for them.
I like people, I long to have friends and, most of all, to be in a relationship. The bottom line is, human beings were not meant to have to live like this. Social interaction is a basic human need.'
Link to the article: http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2011/jan/15/really-thinking-aspergers-person

Thursday 3 March 2011

A little meditation I thought I'd share with you...

image from: www.yogaattheraven.com/events

Third Eye Meditation ♥ 

Relaxation is beneficial in so many ways, but my laptop battery is about to run out, so I won't go into too much detail here!  I've edited the following meditation from the original that I read a while ago, but I'm afraid I can't remember where it is from...
 
The third eye chakra is in the centre of the forehead area and is the site of intuition and inner vision... I hope you enjoy this!...
 
Find a quiet space where you won’t be disturbed. Light a candle, make sure you are comfortable, and wrap an indigo blanket or wrap around you to keep warm. If you like to work with any of the third eye chakra crystals such as Amethyst, Moonstone, Lapis Lazuli etc, place them in front of you. Alternatively burn an aromatherapy oil (e.g. Peppermint, Ginger or Geranium).

Close your eyes, and become aware of the breath passing in and out of your nostrils. Focusing on your third eye imagine all the petals of the chakra opening and take a deep breath. Chant the mantra Aum 3 times, or repeat ‘peace, peace, peace’, or anything else that you find calming.

Imagine yourself in your garden /sacred space, and at this point make sure you are grounded, connected and feeling protected. You see a path in front of you. Walk down the path, feel the soil beneath your feet, notice the sky above you and listen for the sounds of the birds and the trees surrounding you.

The pathway comes to an end and you find yourself standing at the edge of a beautiful ravine. Across the ravine is an enormous thundering waterfall. You feel the mist of the waterfall on your face, cleansing your forehead. While you are looking at the waterfall you notice a movement behind the falling water. Slowly your guide emerges and moves towards you. You greet one another with much joy in your heart. Your guide invites you to join him/ her through the mists of the waterfall. He/she explains that it is time to remove old fears and patterns. He/she is taking you to a place which will be safe to do so.

You feel the warmth of his/ her magnificent energy spreading around you as you slowly lift off the ground and move through the cascading waterfall into a cave behind it. There you notice candles lit around the entrance and a velvet, indigo cushion which you sit down upon. You feel safe and secure.

Bring to mind one, or more, of your current fears, worries, concerns, etc. Simply observe this fear or concern. Recognize it as something that has come to teach you a lesson and see the strength and wisdom it gives you. It is time to let the fear go. Let it go... Acknowledge the feeling that comes to you after letting go of your fear.
You stand up and turn around now; and step out of the cave.

The thundering of the waterfall quietens. A rainbow appears, then the waterfall disappears in front of your eyes and you notice an incredible sense of peace. On the horizon amid the indigo colours of dusk you see the first evening star. It moves towards you until you can reach out and touch it. You gaze towards it connecting it to your third eye. In your mind´s eye, you place a reminder of this experience into the centre of the star. You feel an incredible sense of wisdom as you are revitalized and energized by its magnificent light. The star slowly recedes back to the sky. Know that every time you look upon this star you will be reminded of this experience.

Your guide places his/ her hand on your shoulder gently returns you to your moonlit path which you follow back to your sacred space or garden. The familiar smell of the flowers in your garden and the sound of the birds in the trees brings your awareness back to your body and into the here and now.

Focusing on your breath, you rub your hands together and slowly place them over your face. After a short while gently open your eyes. Thank yourself for taking the time out to do this, & have a beautiful day ♥

Saturday 26 February 2011

A taste of spring...



 "Faith is the bird that feels the light and sings when the dawn is still dark."
Jalal ad-Din Rumi


I thank you God for this most amazing day, for the leaping greenly spirits of trees, and for the blue dream of sky and for everything which is natural, which is infinite, which is yes.  ~e.e. cummings


Just a quick little blog today, as I have so many things I want to do today, tomorrow, this week, next week, and so on!

At the moment, I'm loving the signs that spring is on its way. The birds have started singing their joyful song and I especially love to hear the blackbird singing away early in the morning, and at the end of the day.
The mornings and evenings are lighter now and the temperature is slowly starting to rise...
Snowdrops and crocuses are brightening gardens with their cheerful splashes of colour.
Buds are appearing on trees and bushes, along with catkins and pussy willows.
Hope is everywhere, along with the promise of new life, new beginnings, fresh starts.
I'm so looking forward to getting out and about in the fresh air, to really soak up the feelings, sounds, tastes, and smells of this invigorating, refreshing and optimistic time of year... 

Sunday 20 February 2011

Sparks...

 

Hello again,
I've had quite a peaceful and reflective weekend, which I think was just what I needed. Sometimes life feels so busy, yet it's so important to spend some time just 'being' rather than 'doing'. Just sitting collecting thoughts and feelings together, and re-centering, is so therapeutic, so worthwhile...

Anyway, moving on... in this post, I thought I'd share this extract, from a play called 'Spoonface Steinberg' by Lee Hall. I really like it.

'... because when the world was made ... everything that there is, was all made of magic sparks - and all the magic sparks went into things - deep down and everything has a spark - but it was quite a while ago since it was made and now the sparks are deep down inside and the whole point of being alive - the whole point of living is to find the spark

- and when you meet someone and say hello - or if you tell them a joke or when you say that you love them or try and help someone or you see someone who is sad or injured or maybe they have lost all their money ... or maybe they're just a bit glum or hungry or you ask the time or maybe they've missed the train - all these people, all they need is help to find the spark...

... and if only you could see the spark then there was a meaning ... and the meaning was if you found the spark - then it would be like electricity - and you would glow like a light and you would shine like the sparks and that was the meaning - ... it was glowing - it was finding the sparks inside you and setting them free.' ...


Points for reflection...
Have you found your spark?
What makes you feel really alive?