Monday 21 November 2011

Acts of Kindness...



I came across this little story today, so thought I'd share it...


Hospital Window
Author Unknown

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.

One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window.

The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.

The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.

Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by.

Although the other man couldn't hear the band - he could see it. In his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.
Days and weeks passed.

One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed.

It faced a blank wall.
The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.

The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.

She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."


Epilogue:

There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.

Monday 14 November 2011

Inspiration...



Without inspiration the best powers of the mind remain dormant.
There is a fuel in us which needs to be ignited with sparks.
-Johann Gottfried Von Herder





Ispiration is everywhere...
Notice it...
Connect with it...
Embrace it...
Love it




Thursday 10 November 2011

Relax; take it easy...



 
 
 
Some of my clients find  it helpful to have a short relaxation exercise at the start or end of a session. Relaxation can help with no end of complaints, including sleeplessness, anxiety, feeling disconnected, stressed, and so on... I thought that I'd try recording a short session to see how it sounds - if there is good feedback then I'll record some more...
Close your eyes, listen and relax...
 
 

Sticks and stones...



I came across this on facebook, and thought I'd share it, as it gives out an important lesson about bullying, going against the old (and untrue) adage 'sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me'...


"A teacher in New York was teaching her class about bullying and gave them the following exercise to perform.


 She had the children take a piece of paper and told them to crumple it up, stomp on it and really mess it up, but do not rip it. 

 
Then she had them unfold the paper, smooth it out and look at how scarred and dirty it was. She then told them to tell it they’re sorry. Now even though they said they were sorry and tried to fix the paper, she pointed out all the scars they left behind. And that those scars will never go away no matter how hard they tried to fix it. 

 

That is what happens when a child bullies another child, they may say they’re sorry but the scars are there forever. The looks on the faces of the children in the classroom told her the message hit home". via A B Counselling

I feel I should add that, yes, it's true, bullying does leave scars, and as a counsellor I have seen the effects lasting into adulthood. People who have been bullied in childhood can still suffer from low self esteem as adults, and can find themselves in the role of 'victim' in relationships and at work too. Although the emotional scars can't ever be completely erased, I think it has to be said that victims of bullies don't have to be victims forever. There is hope out there! It is possible to build up self esteem, and to become more confident and assertive, and to be able to achieve a sense of self worth and inner peace, which leads to happier, helathier relationships in all areas of life...

Learn to love your scars - they are part of your life, your story, and they can teach you a lot about life and yourelf...

Wednesday 9 November 2011

On Pain...

'Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.' Kahlil Gibran



'Pain is a part of life. Sometimes it’s a big part, and sometimes it isn’t, but either way, it’s a part of the big puzzle, the deep music, the great game. Pain does two things: It teaches you, tells you that you’re alive. Then it passes away and leaves you changed. It leaves you wiser, sometimes. Sometimes it leaves you stronger. Either way, pain leaves its mark, and everything important that will ever happen to you in life is going to involve it in one degree or another.'
Jim Butcher


 I came across the above passage earlier tonight and the words ring so true to me. It is actually something that I had already been reflecting upon over the last few days anyway.
 Don't be afraid to feel pain. You can learn so much from it...
Unfortunately it seems that these days we are bombarded by messages that seem to be telling us that we should be 'happy', confident and filled with positivity.
There is no time for feeling sad, unhappy or angry.
We live in a world where we expect things to happen so quickly that we become frustrated and impatient when things take longer than we'd  hoped - whether it's waiting for a pizza to be delivered, or waiting for a reply to an email or text message. We aren't prepared to wait, so fast is the pace of life nowadays.
The same seems to be true when it comes to working through our emotions. People want to be feeling better as soon as possible - they want to be seen to be happy and strong and coping.
This piles extra pressure (both internally and externally) onto people who are already feeling low and quite possibly quite fragile too. Feelings get pushed aside and covered up, or ignored, rather than the time being taken to really explore, understand, accept, experience and most importantly to actually feel those feelings and learn from them.
The trouble is, in putting off actually feeling these feelings, the opportunity to learn from them is missed. The feelings get bottled up and up until the day comes that they all come bursting out in sometimes quite an alarming way. And then it takes a lot longer to sift through them all.
It's much more effective and healthy (and natural) to feel the feelings as and when they arise, rather than pushing them away. It seems that  lot of people out there are actually afraid of their feelings - afraid they might get swallowed up by them, worried that they might lose themselves and that they might never be able to find themselves again...
And this is actually quite true...
In immersing yourself in the feelings of pain and loss and grief, you can feel as if you're drowning and lost and it is scary, and it's true that you might not find yourself again, because when you emerge again, you are a different you. Your pain has had an impact upon you, it will have changed you and taught you and the chances are that you won't be quite the same as you were before.
But you will have changed in positive ways.
Rather than becoming hard, angry, bitter, resentful, angry, depressed and/or withdrawn as a result of hiding your feelings away, in embracing your feelings the chances are you'll become wiser, stronger, calmer, and more open than before, with a sense of inner peace and wisdom and the courage and confidence to be able to face and accept whatever challenges present themselves to you in the future.

 'Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding' (Kahlil Gibran)

...feeling that pain is like finding the key to unlock the heavy gates and chains around your heart and soul... Let its voice be heard - your inner voice, your inner wisdom - it is waiting to guide you forward - through the pain and beyond, to a life that is filled with a deep sense of calm, acceptance and inner peace....





Friday 4 November 2011

Autumnwatch...


"Autumn is marching on: even the scarecrows are wearing dead leaves."- Otsuyu Nakagawa


This is such a lovely time of year! It's nice to be warm and cosy indoors, with candlelight flickering, but it's also lovely to get wrapped up and go outdoors to enjoy the fresh air and autumn colours... Hope you enjoy November, both indoors and owhen you're out and about!

Mindfulness...




 
The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past,
nor to worry about the future, 
but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly. 

Buddhist quotes