Over the years, I've come to realise that 'life is hard', as it says in Peck's book 'The Road Less Travelled'. It's a series of challenges - hard lessons to be learned - along with a few (well quite a lot, actually) nice bits woven in between. The more challenges I have been sent, the more I realise that it's the little everyday occurrences that bring about a real sense of happiness, despite the hard times.
If you read my blog / twitter / facebook pages regularly you probably know me well enough by now to know what makes me happy. But I'll reiterate some of these things anyway, because talking (writing) about happy things makes me happy. So do clouds, rainbows, raindrops, flowers, colours, ukuleles, blankets, wellies, puddles, donkeys, cats, smiles, and lots more...
But it's those challenging times that I want to write about today. And goodness knows, I've had lots of experience of challenging times - including several bereavements (2 of which were very sudden and traumatic) divorce, house repossession, family problems, conflict, financial problems, and so on...
For some of life's challenges, such as the above, it's a case of accepting that it's going to be a long process, working through the loss or whatever it is, and coping with the vast spectrum of emotions. It's about having faith, courage, hope, patience, persistence, strength, and whatever else you can muster up. However, sometimes it's the small, unexpected little everyday niggles that really take the wind out of my sails...
Take today and yesterday, for example.I had two nasty encounters - one with a neighbour yesterday, and yet another run in with the secretary of the allotment committee today. Both events really upset me and left me in a fragile state for several hours afterwards. 'Why?' I kept asking myself. 'Why am I letting these people get to me so much?' - I'm a peace-loving, quiet, gentle, sensitive type, and I hate confrontations of any kind. It really upset me that I couldn't just put these experiences out of my mind, let go and move on. Then I reflected on the type of people these two individuals are. Aggressive, bullying, cold, narrow minded and insensitive.
Then it dawned on me. Love and compassion are two of the important principles that I integrate into my daily life - intertwined with the reiki ideals. It dawned on me that if I was able to send reiki to the situation, along with love and compassion, it might somehow help. And of course, it did.
I imagined what it must be like to be these two individuals, apparently lacking in love and compassion, and I was able to actually feel empathy for them - and compassion. And I realised that I need to have compassion for myself too, and that I needed to give myself permission to step back and go gently with the flow. After all, I'm still fragile and in the process of coming to terms with one of the bigger challenges of life (several actually), so no wonder the smaller incidents had such an impact on me, Plus, we'd just scattered some of Micky's ashes on Sunday, so my emotions were already quite raw today and yesterday anyway...
Yes; love, compassion, and TLC are what I need right now, and it's my responsibility to make sure I give myself these things...
And so to end this blog, here's an apt quote from the Dalai Lama:
'In dealing with those who are undergoing great suffering, if you feel "burnout" setting in, if you feel demoralized and exhausted, it is best, for the sake of everyone, to withdraw and restore yourself. The point is to have a long-term perspective.'
(((Big Irish Hug)))
ReplyDeleteIt is my experience that hugs help too.
The Road Less Travelled was a life changing book for me - I go back to it from time to time when life seems difficult.
We need to be gentle with ourselves and recognise that we can be fragile. You are right - you have dealt and are dealing with a lot. Give yourself a pat on the back to go with that hug
David
aw, thank you David - a (((Big Irish Hug))) was exactly what I needed. Thank you so much for putting a smile back on my face.
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