A recent sudden bereavement has prompted me to start writing again - writing, gardening and yoga (along with my amazing daughter) are what got me through the loss of my mum five years ago, and now that I'm going through another terrible loss, I'm making sure to throw myself into what I know I need to do - writing and gardening again, although I'm replacing yoga with walking this time around, but meditation and reiki self-treatments are a big help too...
This is what I wrote earlier:
Sunday morning, 21st March 2010
... I'm at the allotment in the lovely warm sunshine, listening to Sufjan Stevens and cheerful birdsong.
It's such a beautiful day.The sky is so blue.
A lovely plump bumble bee has just flown round me in a circle...I saw my first ladybird of the year today. I disturbed him underneath some foxglove leaves.Daffodils are open in the sunshine; yellow and cheerful...
I'm amazed that the woman a few plots down is finding pleasure in moaning loudly about everyone and everything. Why can't she be quiet for a moment and open her eyes to the beauty that is all around us?
Despite all the pain and sorrow in life, there are moments of real, astounding beauty and harmony - these moments are so startling and so precious, and I feel so blessed that despite the sadness I am enveloped in, I am still open to the love, hope, beauty and light that is always present, even in the darkest hour...
Without the darkness, how would we be able to see the light?
I am open to all the expereiences life has to offer me - good and bad. There is so much to learn, through the laughter and tears ... but most of what I learn comes to me in these moments of clarity; in the stillness and solitude ... that is why I find myself withdrawing at times ... it's because I need times of solitude in which to learn and grow and discover more about myself, about life, death, and so much more ...
And with this awareness, I find peace; steadily rising up from somewhere deep within me...
Peace, and the strength and courage to keep on going... to keep going forward, step by step, day by day ...
We all need to find our own way forward... If you are going through tough times at the moment, take some time to really listen to your inner voice inside ... let it guide you forward in a way that is appropriate for you... trust yourself ... you know what you need to do right now..
This was interesting reading.I can identify with your experience of sudden bereavement.My mother died of cancer aged 67 in 1992 very suddenly and I had a breakdown.I got through it with yoga,reflexology,hands on healing
ReplyDeleteand prayer.You are so right to listen to your inner voice..it guides one at such times.Its sad that many people have no "inner voice"to listen to.They have no healing powers in their soul!
It takes a long time to recover from sudden death..longer than the predicted 2 years,sometimes.
I wish you well and keep proceeding as you are...take care of yourself. x
aw, thank you so much...
ReplyDeleteYes, it's a long process, and I think the impact of the loss of someone close keeps sending ripples out throughout the rest of our lives... but there's so much we can learn through the experience, painful though it is ...
you take care too, and hank you again xx
oops - 'thank', not 'hank' !!
ReplyDeletemy pleasure!I love the photos on your Blog;
ReplyDeletethe white daisies are beautiful.They are my favourite flowers,apart from roses.
aw, thank you so much - photography is one of my passions! x
ReplyDelete