This blog is moving

Hello!

This is just a quick post to let you know that all future counselling / meditation / self help posts will be posted here: http://abcounselling.wordpress.com/posts/

I hope you'll join me at our new home! xx

Letting Go Meditation...

Sit comfortably with your feet flat on the floor. Close your eyes. Notice your breath. Notice the feeling of each breath in… and each breath out…
Feel yourself relaxing more and more as you notice each breath coming in… each breath going out… grounding you… centring you…
Noticing the connection between you, your breath, your mind, body and spirit…
Noticing the connection between you and the universe, as you exchange the same air… a beautiful connection taking place with each breath in and each breath out…

Picture yourself now in a small red boat on a river… As you row downstream, notice how strong your arms feel as they pull the oars backwards and forwards through the water. You notice the green grassy banks on either side of the river, the orange glow of the sunshine, the blue sky… You hear birds singing and the soothing sound of the water flowing steadily along…
After a while, the water becomes quite turbulent. You are being tossed around a bit as the river flows on, so full of energy. You try to row over to the side, to escape from the turbulence, but the current keeps pulling you back…
Notice how you feel…
Tired of struggling, you stop trying to battle against the current, and instead you put the oars down and go with the flow. It feels a bit scary at first, but then, as you calm down and take a few deep breaths, you find yourself enjoying the experience. It is quite exciting, in fact. You trust the water to guide you and your boat onwards. You enjoy the refreshing splash of water on your face as you flow along. You like the roaring sound of the water as it weaves along, strong and determined. It knows where it’s going, and nothing will stop it! Its attitude invigorates you. Breathe in the fresh smells coming from the damp green grass on the river banks. Taste the fresh air on your lips. Feel the energy flow through you as you, the river and your little red boat feel like one interconnected stream of life. Look around as you flow along – what do you see? What does it feel like to have the fresh air in your face? How do you feel?
After a little while, the pace slows down and your boat drifts over to the side.
It’s time to leave now, but you’ll never forget the feeling of exhilaration as you let yourself let go of control for a little while and you trusted the universe to guide you. You have learnt a valuable lesson. Step out of the boat now and up onto the river bank. Take a moment to adjust to being back on the earth again. Feel the earth’s energy flow up through your feet and around your body. Grounding you. Connecting you. Notice your breath again.
Breathe in … and out… in… and out….
Wiggle your toes a little…
And your fingers…
Take a few more breaths and when you’re ready, open your eyes again….
How do you feel now?
….

Earth Day #Meditation...

Today is Earth Day, so I wrote a little meditation that I thought I'd share via my various blogs.

If I had time I'd record it so that you can listen to it, but I'm a bit busy at the moment. Hopefully I'll have a bit of spare time sometime soon so that I can make a recording, but in the meantime you'll have to try it out for yourself. Maybe read it through first, then close your eyes and visualise it all. If you have any feedback, please share  it! 

Namaste.



Take some nice deep breaths; in and out...
Let go... Relax... Breathe... In... Out... Breathe... Let go... Breathe...
If any thoughts come into your mind, let them go; let them drift by like clouds in the sky.
Breathe... Let go...
Enjoy the feeling of your body relaxing as your muscles relax and any tension slips away....
It feels good...

You are walking towards an old wooden gate...
You are feeling very calm and peaceful...
You can feel the warm earth beneath your bare feet...
You are part of the earth; connected to each other like threads of a beautiful tapestry... Feel the connection... Feel the earth grounding you... Feel the earth's energy flowing through you like a beautiful river of love and peace...
Pause at the gate for a moment... Feel the smooth wood underneath your fingertips...
Breathe... Smile...
Open the gate now and look around you... What can you see?
Breathe in the scent of the pine trees...
Notice the earthy smell of the forest floor...
Listen to the beautiful birds singing; so happy and carefree...
Taste the crystal clear air brushing against your lips...
Feel the gentle breeze caressing your hair...
Look up at the tall pine trees reaching so high into the sky... Sunlight is streaming through the branches, sending warmth and energy round you and through you and into every cell of your body...
How does it feel?
Enjoy the new energy flowing through you...
Breathe... Smile...
Walking along the winding path between the trees you feel such a deep sense of connection with mother earth... Gratitude flows through you... It is so good to be part of this beautiful world...
The birds are singing, the sun is shining and life is good...
Sit down for a moment or two, and lean your back against a tree... Feel the strength and wisdom flowing into you as you lean back into the trunk... Let the tree support you for a moment... Breathe... You and the tree are one... You are the tree...
How do you feel?
Your roots reach deep down into the earth, drawing up the energy from the earth's core, spreading up through the trunk and flowing along every branch, every leaf, and out into the air we breathe...
Breathe... Smile...
Place your hands flat on the ground now and feel the connection...
Thank you mother earth for all you give us, so generously...
You are always there for us, providing us with the air we breathe, the food we eat and the water of life... Thank you...
We are all one... Connected with every breath we take...
Stand up now and place your hands against the bark...
Feel the energy flow...
Thank the tree for being there for you. For supporting you. For sharing the energy and the gift of life... Wiggle your toes and feel the soft mossy green grass under your feet... Walk back towards the gate now, enjoying the birds singing and breathing in the scent of the pine trees...
How do you feel?
Look around you for a moment before you go back through the gate...
Smile...Breathe...
Close the gate behind you as you say goodbye... You'll come back again soon...
Take a few more breaths in and out... Notice your body...
Notice each breath...
Gently wiggle your toes...
Wiggle your fingers...
Smile...
Stretch...
How do you feel now?
When you're ready, open your eyes...
Take your time...
Have a drink of water and return to the here and now...

Enjoy the rest of the day...

Writing for Wellbeing...

Where the poems are

There is a long curved pathway
which runs between sanity and madness:
I have walked it many times,

searching

in wrong places
for solutions
to wrong problems;

destined

to walk for ever
until, exhausted,
I came close to death.

Whoever is responsible for miracles

chose that moment
to open up my eyes,
let me see the light,
which lit a different path.

That is where I found the poems.

by David Agnew (Belfast David)

-------------------------------------------------------

I read this poem by my friend David, today and I immediately wanted to share it. It offers hope that however bad things may seem, there is always the possiblity for change, for making different choices. It is never to late to take a different path.

Please do have a look at David's poetry; his words always have something special about them, whether it's gentleness, humour, wisdom, something to ponder upon, or something a little bit silly to smile about; his words never disappoint! Take a look at his blog:  http://belfastdavid.wordpress.com/posts/
and details of his books (that I can thoroughly recommend) can be found here: http://belfastdavid.wordpress.com/books/

Keep on moving...

If you want to succeed in the world you must make your own opportunities as you go on.

The man who waits for some seventh wave to toss him on dry land will find that the seventh wave is a long time a coming.

You can commit no greater folly than to sit by the roadside until someone comes along and invites you to ride with him to wealth or influence.

John B. Gough

Another reminder about the importance of taking responsibility for ourselves and the path we chose to take through life...

Reaching out...

'There is a phenomenological difference in experiencing pain yourself and sharing someone else’s pain and suffering. 
Your own pain is involuntary; you feel overwhelmed and have no control. 
When feeling the pain of others, there is an element of discomfort, but there also is a level of stability because you are voluntarily accepting pain. 
It gives you a sense of confidence.'

Dalai Lama


I read this quote today and to me, it really sums up the role of the counsellor in counselling. As a counsellor, I share my clients' pain; I really feel their suffering. I shed tears of pain and loss and grief along with their tears; my tears give their tears permission to fall...
But all the while, I am aware that it is their pain, not mine. I am there to 'hold' them and support them, and be with them in their suffering. Sometimes it is too much for one person to bear the weight of their pain single-handedly, so that is where I step in. In being alongside someone in their suffering, it makes the process a little less lonely. In offering a space filled with support and compassion, my clients are able to explore, understand, express and release their feelings of pain and sorrow. This can be a difficult process, but it is so necessary for our growth and development as living, breathing, feeling human beings...In me having a sense of confidence in facing painful emotions, it enables my clients to develop confidence in their ability to face these emotions too...
♥

#Guidance for this week

23-366   
 

Keep on keepin' on...

 

“As long as you're actively pursuing your dream with a practical plan, you're still achieving, even if it feels as though you're going nowhere fast.

It's been my experience that at the very moment I feel like giving up, I'm only one step from a breakthrough.

Hang on long enough and circumstances will change, too.

Trust in yourself, your dream and spirit.”

Sarah Ban Breathnach

Sometimes, as we travel along the path towards acheiving our dreams, it feels as if we aren't making much progress.

However, as the above quote points out, it's a case of carying on, one step at a time; trusting, and having faith.

Even if you've strayed off the path, you WILL get there eventually - and you will sometimes discover things that you wouldn't have discovered if you'd continued along the original path, with your eyes firmly on the goal ahead...

Don't worry if it feels like you've ground to a halt.

It's ok to pause and take a break.

However, if it feels impossible to find the motivation to keep on going then maybe it's worth reflecting upon whether the dream you're 'supposed' to be working towards still holds true.

It's ok to change your mind and choose another path!

 

Trust...

 

Hello and happy new year! 

The start of a new year is a good time of year to decide upon a mantra or affirmation for the year; a simple phrase or saying that you can repeat to yourself regularly; maybe at the start and end of each day. 'Trust', for example, might be a good theme to choose. Even that one word would do. Trust. 

One of the essential ingredients of a good relationships is trust. Our relationships with others are based on the relationship that we have with ourselves, so if you trust yourself, it goes to follow that you'll trust others in your life; therefore the relationships you have with others will also be based on the firm foundation of trust. 

I trust...

I trust life...

I trust myself...

I trust the process;

I trust the journey...

I trust my inner wisdom; my inner voice... 

I trust my inner guidance.

I trust the universe...

I trust.

I have patience...

I trust.

All will be well;

I know.

I trust.

'Living a balanced, authentic and fulfilling life'...



The process of healing ourselves and our lives involves being mindful of mind, body and spirit. When one aspect is out of balance, all are out of balance. Having balance in life is essential for living an authentic, happy and fulfilling life. Take stock of your life and resolve to heal, or change, anything that is unbalanced. This takes courage, but you don't have to struggle alone in this process. Ask for support from family, friends, and/or your counsellor. In taking note of the following points, you can start making positive changes in life now.


One: Know Your Identity, Beliefs and Values

Getting to know yourself is essential for living an authentic life. Once you are in tune with yourself and you really know, love and accept who you are, and you know what makes you feel happy, it follows that you are much more likely to live a life that somehow feels just right. When you know what your beliefs and values are, you can live your life in accordance with what is really important to you. Life will flow more smoothly.

• Find out what you really love to do; what inspires you, makes you feel alive, happy and satisfied; then do these things often

• Nurture yourself - on all levels; mind, body and spirit

• Be true to yourself. Define yourself by who you are – not by the perceptions of others

• Always make the right choices for you, whatever the circumstances

• Treat yourself and others with respect

• Think about some ‘rules’ you’d like to live your life by, write them down, and commit to them



Two: Let go - of the old; hurts and pains, regrets, and negative thought patterns

In letting go, we can move forward, with less baggage weighing us down.

• First, feel and explore the feelings, then think about what you can learn from the experience, and then let go so that you can get closure and move on



Three: Forgive Freely

Forgiving doesn’t mean that what was said or done was acceptable, but it is part of letting go and is essential for living life with a peaceful heart.

• Take responsibility; don’t blame others

• By embracing forgiveness, you embrace peace and hope



Four: Have Faith – in yourself, in the process; in life...

With faith, almost anything is possible.

• Faith is trusting, having hope in your heart, and believing that all will be well.



Five: Live mindfully, with presence.

Take time out to pause and reflect regularly, on a daily basis. Awareness is the key to deeper knowledge and inner wisdom.

• Introduce clarity and simplicity into your life; every day

• Be focused and effective – concentrate your energies

• Inspire the people around you



Six: Take action – make positive changes in your life. Set realistic and achievable goals...

Don’t just think about doing it – do it!! But plan it first. You wouldn’t set off on a long journey without preparing and planning in advance, so apply the same care and attention to your journey through life. But don’t just focus on achieving your ultimate goal – enjoy each step of the journey along the way.

• Determine your priorities and your responsibilities

• Use your knowledge and inner wisdom to empower you

• Make the most of your talents, abilities and best qualities; your self-esteem will be lifted by indulging fully in your talents

• Plot your own direction in life



Seven: Gratitude and Thanksgiving

Finally, find something to be grateful for everyday. Be joyful. Living life joyfully means that it is possible to rise above the problems and difficulties we encounter, and still be happy.

• Start living each day by your new philosophy – and begin the process of self-growth and living a happy, fulfilled, and enriching life

• By completely involving yourself in life, and making a firm commitment to yourself, it follows that you’ll feel good about yourself and your life, and you’ll be full of gratitude and wonder!

• Love life and live it to the full!

Tenacity...

from

Tenacity (1971):

I sit for hours at the window
Preparing a letter; you are coming toward me,
We are balanced like dancers in memory,
I feel your coat, I smell your clothes,
Your tobacco, you almost touch me.

by Ruth Stone

Ruth Stone died last month, at the age of 96. Many of her poems convey a haunting feeling of loss and bittersweetness; they are“love poems, all written to a dead man”; written after her husband ended his life, leaving her to bring up three daughters on her own...

Acts of Kindness...

I came across this little story today, so thought I'd share it...


Hospital Window
Author Unknown

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.

One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window.

The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.

The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.

Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by.

Although the other man couldn't hear the band - he could see it. In his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.
Days and weeks passed.

One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed.

It faced a blank wall.
The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.

The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.

She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."


Epilogue:

There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.

Inspiration...

Without inspiration the best powers of the mind remain dormant.

There is a fuel in us which needs to be ignited with sparks.

-Johann Gottfried Von Herder

Ispiration is everywhere...
Notice it...

Connect with it...

Embrace it...

Love it ♥

Angels...

 

Angels Are With Us 11/11/11 by abcounselling

 

 

Relax; take it easy...

 

 

close your eyes and relax for 5 mins by abcounselling

 

Some of my clients find  it helpful to have a short relaxation exercise at the start or end of a session. Relaxation can help with no end of complaints, including sleeplessness, anxiety, feeling disconnected, stressed, and so on... I thought that I'd try recording a short session to see how it sounds - if there is good feedback then I'll record some more...

Close your eyes, listen and relax...

 

 

Sticks and stones...

I came across this on facebook, and thought I'd share it, as it gives out an important lesson about bullying, going against the old (and untrue) adage 'sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me'...

"A teacher in New York was teaching her class about bullying and gave them the following exercise to perform.

 She had the children take a piece of paper and told them to crumple it up, stomp on it and really mess it up, but do not rip it. 

 

Then she had them unfold the paper, smooth it out and look at how scarred and dirty it was. She then told them to tell it they’re sorry. Now even though they said they were sorry and tried to fix the paper, she pointed out all the scars they left behind. And that those scars will never go away no matter how hard they tried to fix it. 

 

That is what happens when a child bullies another child, they may say they’re sorry but the scars are there forever. The looks on the faces of the children in the classroom told her the message hit home". via A B Counselling

I feel I should add that, yes, it's true, bullying does leave scars, and as a counsellor I have seen the effects lasting into adulthood. People who have been bullied in childhood can still suffer from low self esteem as adults, and can find themselves in the role of 'victim' in relationships and at work too. Although the emotional scars can't ever be completely erased, I think it has to be said that victims of bullies don't have to be victims forever. There is hope out there! It is possible to build up self esteem, and to become more confident and assertive, and to be able to achieve a sense of self worth and inner peace, which leads to happier, helathier relationships in all areas of life...

Learn to love your scars - they are part of your life, your story, and they can teach you a lot about life and yourelf...

On Pain...

'Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.' Kahlil Gibran

'Pain is a part of life. Sometimes it’s a big part, and sometimes it isn’t, but either way, it’s a part of the big puzzle, the deep music, the great game. Pain does two things: It teaches you, tells you that you’re alive. Then it passes away and leaves you changed. It leaves you wiser, sometimes. Sometimes it leaves you stronger. Either way, pain leaves its mark, and everything important that will ever happen to you in life is going to involve it in one degree or another.'

Jim Butcher

 I came across the above passage earlier tonight and the words ring so true to me. It is actually something that I had already been reflecting upon over the last few days anyway.

 Don't be afraid to feel pain. You can learn so much from it...

Unfortunately it seems that these days we are bombarded by messages that seem to be telling us that we should be 'happy', confident and filled with positivity.

There is no time for feeling sad, unhappy or angry.

We live in a world where we expect things to happen so quickly that we become frustrated and impatient when things take longer than we'd  hoped - whether it's waiting for a pizza to be delivered, or waiting for a reply to an email or text message. We aren't prepared to wait, so fast is the pace of life nowadays.

The same seems to be true when it comes to working through our emotions. People want to be feeling better as soon as possible - they want to be seen to be happy and strong and coping.

This piles extra pressure (both internally and externally) onto people who are already feeling low and quite possibly quite fragile too. Feelings get pushed aside and covered up, or ignored, rather than the time being taken to really explore, understand, accept, experience and most importantly to actually feel those feelings and learn from them.

The trouble is, in putting off actually feeling these feelings, the opportunity to learn from them is missed. The feelings get bottled up and up until the day comes that they all come bursting out in sometimes quite an alarming way. And then it takes a lot longer to sift through them all.

It's much more effective and healthy (and natural) to feel the feelings as and when they arise, rather than pushing them away. It seems that  lot of people out there are actually afraid of their feelings - afraid they might get swallowed up by them, worried that they might lose themselves and that they might never be able to find themselves again...

And this is actually quite true...

In immersing yourself in the feelings of pain and loss and grief, you can feel as if you're drowning and lost and it is scary, and it's true that you might not find yourself again, because when you emerge again, you are a different you. Your pain has had an impact upon you, it will have changed you and taught you and the chances are that you won't be quite the same as you were before.

But you will have changed in positive ways.

Rather than becoming hard, angry, bitter, resentful, angry, depressed and/or withdrawn as a result of hiding your feelings away, in embracing your feelings the chances are you'll become wiser, stronger, calmer, and more open than before, with a sense of inner peace and wisdom and the courage and confidence to be able to face and accept whatever challenges present themselves to you in the future.

 'Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding' (Kahlil Gibran)

...feeling that pain is like finding the key to unlock the heavy gates and chains around your heart and soul... Let its voice be heard - your inner voice, your inner wisdom - it is waiting to guide you forward - through the pain and beyond, to a life that is filled with a deep sense of calm, acceptance and inner peace....

Autumnwatch...

"Autumn is marching on: even the scarecrows are wearing dead leaves."- Otsuyu Nakagawa

This is such a lovely time of year! It's nice to be warm and cosy indoors, with candlelight flickering, but it's also lovely to get wrapped up and go outdoors to enjoy the fresh air and autumn colours... Hope you enjoy November, both indoors and owhen you're out and about!

Mindfulness...

 

The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past,

nor to worry about the future, 

but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly. 

Buddhist quotes

Higher than the sun...

Far away in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.

Louisa May Alcott