Writing for Wellbeing...

Where the poems are

There is a long curved pathway
which runs between sanity and madness:
I have walked it many times,

searching

in wrong places
for solutions
to wrong problems;

destined

to walk for ever
until, exhausted,
I came close to death.

Whoever is responsible for miracles

chose that moment
to open up my eyes,
let me see the light,
which lit a different path.

That is where I found the poems.

by David Agnew (Belfast David)

-------------------------------------------------------

I read this poem by my friend David, today and I immediately wanted to share it. It offers hope that however bad things may seem, there is always the possiblity for change, for making different choices. It is never to late to take a different path.

Please do have a look at David's poetry; his words always have something special about them, whether it's gentleness, humour, wisdom, something to ponder upon, or something a little bit silly to smile about; his words never disappoint! Take a look at his blog:  http://belfastdavid.wordpress.com/posts/
and details of his books (that I can thoroughly recommend) can be found here: http://belfastdavid.wordpress.com/books/

Hope...

This is something I wrote yesterday - it never ceases to amaze me how writing things down helps release negative feelings - I especially enjoyed doing the jigsaw exercise afterwards - I just drew jigsaw shapes (some of which seem to have slightly phallic-looking appendages, incidentally, which Freud would no doubt have a field day analysing...) then I just let my pen subconsciously write down words that sprang from nowhere ... or was it really from 'nowhere'?? Anyway, here it is, along with a couple of photos I took today:



Hope...

Fleeting moments

Stand out

In high definition

Against a hazy background

Of a lifetime of memories.

Fragmented snippets of sentences

And words unsaid

Form broken jigsaws

In the back of my mind.

Unuttered feelings rise to the surface

Then sink,

Submerged.

Drowning

In waves of emotions 

Undefined,

And then returning to haunt me

In dreams

That evaporate on waking.

Breaking the spell of the past

And bringing awareness

to the present

Until darkness falls again;

Only to be dissolved by the rising sun

Bringing light

Bringing hope.

 

Sunrise...

Sunrise...

Breaking through the mournful sky

A single ray of light

Traces shapes on the horizon...

And in that brief moment

I see a glimmer of

Hope...

And my spirits start to

Rise...

I wish ...

I Wish...

I wish I could hear

the sound of your

voice

One more time.

And maybe see you

Smile ...

 
... I wished on some shooting stars tonight, but in life we have to accept that some wishes just aren't going to be granted, no matter how much we want them to come true ... Instead, we have to learn to let go ...
 
I'm in the process of wading through old blogs on myspace, trying to save various bits and pieces from over the years. It's quite an emotional journey - some of the stuff i  was writing back then, like the poem above, were related to the grieving process i was going through after my mum died. ...
 
Fast forward just a few years, and here i am, in the midst of another loss. It might be a cliche, but everything happens for a reason. I now know that all the pain i went through regarding my mum's death was necessary, so that i would be in some way equipped to deal with the loss of my ex-husband, soul mate & best friend, and so that i would somehow be able to support our daughter through this.
 
Next week, it will be 6 months since he died. Earlier tonight, as my daughter and i sat together,talking and crying and hugging each other, i was so, so proud of my beautiful daughter, and her words of wisdom - her strength and maturity - took my breath away.  Her dad will be so proud of her - i just wish he was here to tell her... but she already knows how proud he'll be...
 
Later, we went out for a walk, and sat watching shooting stars together, and made our wishes.
'Will our wishes come true?' she said...
I smiled and told her the story I've told her countless times before ... 
'Yes, they do come true - me and your dad wished on a shooting star the night you were conceived, so our wish came true!'
 'That's the most beautiful story ever!' she said ...
I smiled to myself and remembered the time her dad spoke to a 'fortune teller' who told him that 'you have a daughter who will be like a star that outshines all others'... that story was certainly true as well...
 
We got back home again just before the rain began - our tears replaced by star-shaped glimmers of hope ...
 

 

Learning and Growing...

After a While

After a while you learn

The subtle difference between

Holding a hand and chaining a soul

And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning

And company doesn't always mean security.

And you begin to learn

That kisses aren't contracts

And presents aren't promises

And you begin to accept your defeats

With your head up and your eyes ahead

With the grace of a woman

Not the grief of a child

And you learn

To build all your roads on today

Because tomorrow's ground is

Too uncertain for plans

And futures have a way

Of falling down in mid flight

After a while you learn

That even sunshine burns if you get too much

So you plant your own garden

And decorate your own soul

Instead of waiting

For someone to bring you flowers

And you learn

That you really can endure

That you are really strong

And you really do have worth

And you learn and you learn

With every good bye you learn

Veronica A. Shoffstall

Life has so much to teach us. Open your heart and learn all there is to learn about life, love, yourself, your friends, family, neighbours, community, country, the world ...

Despite all the pain and sorrow in life, and in the the world, there is so much beauty, so much joy, so much hope. So much to learn and understand, and accept. Even though we don't always understand, and even though there isn't always an answer, we can learn and grow through all experiences life has to offer - good and bad. Sometimes we choose to close our eyes and our heart and soul, and we shut ourselves away, refusing to take more risks, afraid of yet more pain... but in doing this, we miss out on fully experiencing the good times too...

Believe that you are strong. You have the courage to endure the darkest times, and to emerge with courage, faith and hope...

“In the darkest hour the soul is replenished and given strength to continue and endure.”

(unknown author)