I Wish...
I wish I could hear
the sound of your
voice
One more time.
And maybe see you
Smile ...
... I wished on some shooting stars tonight, but in life we have to accept that some wishes just aren't going to be granted, no matter how much we want them to come true ... Instead, we have to learn to let go ...
I'm in the process of wading through old blogs on myspace, trying to save various bits and pieces from over the years. It's quite an emotional journey - some of the stuff i was writing back then, like the poem above, were related to the grieving process i was going through after my mum died. ...
Fast forward just a few years, and here i am, in the midst of another loss. It might be a cliche, but everything happens for a reason. I now know that all the pain i went through regarding my mum's death was necessary, so that i would be in some way equipped to deal with the loss of my ex-husband, soul mate & best friend, and so that i would somehow be able to support our daughter through this.
Next week, it will be 6 months since he died. Earlier tonight, as my daughter and i sat together,talking and crying and hugging each other, i was so, so proud of my beautiful daughter, and her words of wisdom - her strength and maturity - took my breath away. Her dad will be so proud of her - i just wish he was here to tell her... but she already knows how proud he'll be...
Later, we went out for a walk, and sat watching shooting stars together, and made our wishes.
'Will our wishes come true?' she said...
I smiled and told her the story I've told her countless times before ...
'Yes, they do come true - me and your dad wished on a shooting star the night you were conceived, so our wish came true!'
'That's the most beautiful story ever!' she said ...
I smiled to myself and remembered the time her dad spoke to a 'fortune teller' who told him that 'you have a daughter who will be like a star that outshines all others'... that story was certainly true as well...
We got back home again just before the rain began - our tears replaced by star-shaped glimmers of hope ...
I felt shivers down my spine as I read this Blog...grief is indeed a process not to be ignored.I grieved seriously for two or three years after my mother died in 1992 and
ReplyDeletemoved out to the West Country to heal,for ten years, from 1995-2005.I went to Glastonbury,had healing,and climbed the Tor.
All part of the healing process.
When my mother was seriously ill in hospital,I went to the hospital chapel and prayed fervently for her to live.My prayers were not answered,but that didn't destroy my faith...I questioned it,but it remained intact.
I am a strong believer in the afterlife.My mother appears to me in dreams,even now,18 years after her passing.She also had a very strong faith,and lost her beloved father
when he was in his mid-50s.He appeared to her
quite often afterwards,and,although she was
wary at first,got used to it and welcomed it.
It is a great comfort,to know that the departed can still watch over us.
Thank you so much for your comment - yes, it is a huge comfort, isn't it, that feeling that we are being watched over...
ReplyDeleteThanks again,
Take care...