Hyperreal...

 

Some moments in life can never be forgotten... memories fade, but certain moments stay imprinted in their stark reality for ever... I still struggle sometimes to believe the events of this time last year... I know it happened, yet it sometimes feels like it happened in a different lifetime. And in some ways, it was a different lifetime... I am a different person now... me and Iona both are...

I remember the first phonecall... the waiting... then the second phone call. Radiohead, Street Spirit (Fade Out) playing in the background, as I had to tell Iona the awful news that her Dad had died... Surely the worst possible thing in life that a parent could ever have to tell their child is that their other parent has died...

But somehow, we've survived the first year without him. I'm so proud of us, and i know that he would be too.

I hope you're at peace now. We miss you. Thanks for the happy memories of so many good times - and for all I learnt through the bad times...

I smile when I listen to the shamen, and remember us dancing madly in those good old days!

<3

 

 

Loving, living, learning...

Hello again,

This is just a quick little blog, as I'm in the middle of doing a newsletter that I'd planned to have ready for the 1st of February... But, hey ho! - I'm going gently on myself, as this a difficult time for me; those of you who know me well, will know why.

The theme of my newsletter is Self Love. (That's the link between this blog and the pictures I've included - spot the love hearts!) I wanted to include this piece below by Louise Hay, but a combination of lack of time and space prevented me, so I thought I'd include it in my blog instead:

I Love Myself Affirmation
Louise Hay

Deep at the centre of my being,

there is an infinite well of love.


I now allow this love to flow to the surface.

It fills my heart, my body, my mind, my consciousness,

my very being, and radiates out from me in all directions

and returns to me multiplied.

The more love I use and give, the more I have to give.

The supply is endless.

The use of love makes me feel good,

it is an expression of my inner joy.



I love myself;

therefore, I take loving care of my body.

I lovingly feed it nourishing foods and beverages,

I lovingly groom it and dress it, and my body lovingly

responds to me with vibrant health and energy.



I love myself; therefore provide for myself

a comfortable home, one that fills

all my needs and is a pleasure to be in.

I fill the rooms with the vibration of love

so that all who enter, myself included,

will feel this love and be nourished by it.



I love myself; therefore I work at a job I truly enjoy

doing, one that uses my creative talents and abilities,

working with and for people I love and who love me,

and earning a good income.



I love myself; therefore, I behave and think in a loving

way to all people for I know that that which I give out

returns to me multiplied.

I only attract loving people in my world,

for they are a mirror of what I am.



I love myself; therefore I forgive and totally release

the past and all past experiences and I am free.



I love myself; therefore I live totally in the now,

experiencing each moment as good and knowing that

my future is bright and joyous and secure,

for I am a beloved child of the Universe

and the Universe lovingly takes care of me

now and forever more.

And so it is.

by Louise Hay, from "You Can Heal Your Life"



Let Somebody In...

Hello again 

It's been a while since my last blog... and, 'No!' - it hasn't been because of writer's block! - there are so many things I want to say; so many things I want to write about and share, but so little time... Plus, February is a difficult month for me, and I had a funeral to go to this week, so I've made a point of giving myself some space and time to reflect on things, and gather my thoughts together... Anyway; enough about me...  I thought I'd share a few thoughts that I've been pondering on tonight...

An ongoing theme in my work seems to be around fear - fear of moving on, of taking risks, of being hurt, of living, of letting go, of failing, of success, of being alone, of being in a relationship... It seems that quite a large proportion of us are hiding behind our fears of so many different things, that we are limiting our selves and we are lessening the possibility of reaching our full potential... 

Fear is a natural emotion, but when it starts to become an excuse, and when it limits our daily lives, perhaps it is time to step out from under our security blankets and start exploring these fears... Once we understand our fears, why we have them, and the impact they are having on our lives, we can start to gradually make changes, let go a little, start taking risks, and begin to get a taste of how life could be, if only we could stop being so afraid!

'But  how? How can I do it?' people often plead - as if the prospect of change in itself is so scary that it seems easier to stay in our comfort zone, limiting though it is... 

Change doesn't happen overnight - it's a gradual process. Each time a little step forward is made, it's a step closer to living a free(er) and more fulfilling life. But yes, with each risk that is taken, there comes the possibility of being hurt. In dropping our guard, our defences, our protection, we may feel exposed and vulnerable. Yes, we will get hurt - suffering is part of life. But in dealing with hurt and pain along the way, we become stronger and better equipped to deal with future pain and disappointments. With that strength comes self-belief, and the realisation that we deserve to live a rich and varied life, taking the rough with the smooth - we deserve to live - really live - rather than just continue to plod along, existing, rather than living...

Anyway, I hope this makes sense...I thought I'd end this post with the video below, as I think it ties in with the theme of fear... The words are below the video.

    Let Somebody In  

Said, you want to love
But you don't know how
And you want to feel
But you're not allowed
And you want to cry
But you don't know why
And you want to give
But you're not that kind 

When you gonna let somebody in?
You might get hurt just a little bit
When you gonna let somebody in? 

Said, you want to love
But you don't know how
And you want to trust
But you're not allowed
And you want to cry
But you don't know why
And you want to give
But you're not that kind 

When you gonna let somebody in?
You might get hurt just a little bit
When you gonna let somebody in?

You want to love
But you don't know how
And you want to feel
But you don't know how

- by The Magic Numbers - 

I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one...

 

Peace...

Today, 30th January is a Festival of Peace; a day that is dedicated to the Roman Goddess Pax...

so I thought I'd do a quick little blog with a couple of quotes about peace:

If in our daily life we can smile,

if we can be peaceful and happy,

not only we, but everyone

will profit from it. This

is the most basic kind

of peace work.

— Thich Nhat Hanh

~~~

If we are to live together in peace, we must come to know each other better.

— Lyndon Baines Johnson

This is so true... and, above all, we must come to know ourselves better, as well as each other, if we are to live in peace...
Think about how you can live a more peaceful life...
- & please feel free to share your tips, thoughts, ideas, etc! xx  

wandering through wonderland...

Just a quick little blog to say that I've started a new blog: http://ali-aquarius.blogspot.com/

It's going to be an autobiography, once I've decided how to start it!

You're welcome to join me on my wonderings and wanderings about my past...

I'll still be keeping this one going too.

pic from google images

This Will Pass...

Hello again,

'Anxiety' is a theme that's coming up quite frequently in my work with clients at the moment. I was thinking about this earlier, and a previous client suddenly sprung to mind.

He was really struggling with anxiety issues, and we spent a lot of time exploring this, working through it, looking at coping strategies, and so on. Acceptance of the anxiety seemed to be a real turning point. Rather than constantly battling against it, or trying to control it, just being able to accept and admit 'I feel anxious' seemed to lift a lot of pressure and bring about a sense of relief.

Another thing that really helped this particular client when he felt anxious was to repeat a phrase he had heard:

'This will pass'

I was grateful to him for sharing this with me in the very next session after he had first heard it on the radio and, as soon as that session ended, I wrote it on a card and pinned it to my notice board.

'This will pass'

If you're concerned that I'm breaching client confidentiality in sharing this, please don't be alarmed. This particular client was so grateful for his positive experience of counselling that, when his counselling came to an end, he desperately wanted to help other people who struggle with anxiety in some way. He wrote an open letter for me to share, at my discretion, with other clients who were struggling as he had, so I know he'd be pleased for me to share this story for the benefit of others.

'This will pass'

I wondered where this phrase came from originally, so I did a little bit of research into it this morning. This is what I discovered:

This too shall pass (Hebrew: גם זה יעבור‎, gam zeh ya'avor) is a saying commonly used to offer condolences or sympathy to someone in pain or suffering... "King Solomon once searched for a cure against depression. He assembled his wise men together. They meditated for a long time and gave him the following advice: Make yourself a ring and have thereon engraved the words 'This too will pass.' The King carried out the advice. He had the ring made and wore it constantly. Every time he felt sad and depressed, he looked at the ring, whereon his mood would change and he would feel cheerful" -(Israel Folklore Archive)

I really like that idea! Also, a ring is a circle, and there's something really soothing about circles, I feel. The smooth edges, and feeling of continuity; seamless and neverending. Wikipedia notes that 'The circle has been known since before the beginning of recorded history. Natural circles would have been observed, such as the Moon, Sun, and a short plant stalk blowing in the wind on sand, which forms a circle shape in the sand.'

And so the circle of life continues... The process of self awareness is almost like a circle too. The starting point is you; you go off on the voyage of self discovery, but you always end up coming back to yourself; back to where the journey began... but with more awareness than you had when you began the journey ...

Which reminds me of another theme that is emerging in my work at the moment: existentialism. But I'll maybe save that theme for another blog!

Anyway, I hope this has been helpful in some way. Next time you're feeling anxious, upset, or afraid, try repeating the phrase a few times and see if it helps...

'This will pass'

Nuts...

Apparently yesterday was Squirrel Appreciation Day in America, so I thought I'd do a quick little blog in honour of squirrels today. The photos and videos were taken on holiday in Jan 2009.

I love squirrels! ♥

'One autumn when the nuts were

ripe, and the leaves on the hazel

bushes were golden and green--

Nutkin and Twinkleberry and all the

other little squirrels came out of the

wood, and down to the edge of the lake...'

~ Beatrix Potter