Reaching out...

'There is a phenomenological difference in experiencing pain yourself and sharing someone else’s pain and suffering. 
Your own pain is involuntary; you feel overwhelmed and have no control. 
When feeling the pain of others, there is an element of discomfort, but there also is a level of stability because you are voluntarily accepting pain. 
It gives you a sense of confidence.'

Dalai Lama


I read this quote today and to me, it really sums up the role of the counsellor in counselling. As a counsellor, I share my clients' pain; I really feel their suffering. I shed tears of pain and loss and grief along with their tears; my tears give their tears permission to fall...
But all the while, I am aware that it is their pain, not mine. I am there to 'hold' them and support them, and be with them in their suffering. Sometimes it is too much for one person to bear the weight of their pain single-handedly, so that is where I step in. In being alongside someone in their suffering, it makes the process a little less lonely. In offering a space filled with support and compassion, my clients are able to explore, understand, express and release their feelings of pain and sorrow. This can be a difficult process, but it is so necessary for our growth and development as living, breathing, feeling human beings...In me having a sense of confidence in facing painful emotions, it enables my clients to develop confidence in their ability to face these emotions too...
♥

waving .. not drowning

Tidal Waves...

Somtimes

The grief

Overwhelms me

So much

I feel like it's

Impossible

To fight.

So I surrender for a while

And let the tidal waves strike.

But I don't give in.

Grief is like the sea - it seems to go on for ever - it sometimes seems like there's no end in sight. Sometimes it comes in waves and waves, but sometimes it's calm and almost soothing, ... Sometimes, I almost forget it's there... sometimes I know that it's there, but it doesn't seem to be too significant. Sometimes, a storm rises up from nowhere, then slides away just as quickly as it arrived... It gives me strength, it puts things in perspective, it lets me see that the storm will pass... It shows me that this is part of the bigger picture ... part of the rythmn of life.... it is character-building... it makes me strong. But I don't have to be strong all of the the time...