Reaching out...

'There is a phenomenological difference in experiencing pain yourself and sharing someone else’s pain and suffering. 
Your own pain is involuntary; you feel overwhelmed and have no control. 
When feeling the pain of others, there is an element of discomfort, but there also is a level of stability because you are voluntarily accepting pain. 
It gives you a sense of confidence.'

Dalai Lama


I read this quote today and to me, it really sums up the role of the counsellor in counselling. As a counsellor, I share my clients' pain; I really feel their suffering. I shed tears of pain and loss and grief along with their tears; my tears give their tears permission to fall...
But all the while, I am aware that it is their pain, not mine. I am there to 'hold' them and support them, and be with them in their suffering. Sometimes it is too much for one person to bear the weight of their pain single-handedly, so that is where I step in. In being alongside someone in their suffering, it makes the process a little less lonely. In offering a space filled with support and compassion, my clients are able to explore, understand, express and release their feelings of pain and sorrow. This can be a difficult process, but it is so necessary for our growth and development as living, breathing, feeling human beings...In me having a sense of confidence in facing painful emotions, it enables my clients to develop confidence in their ability to face these emotions too...
♥