What's in a Name?
I've been thinking about names quite a lot lately...
I was at a workshop quite a while ago where one of the introductory ice-breaking exercises was to talk about our name - what it is, why we were called that, what it means, whether or not we like it, whether we prefer to be called by our full name, or by an abbreviated form of it, and so on... It was really interesting to hear everyone's wide range of feelings about their name, and what an emotive subject it can be....
As a counsellor, it's really important to check what clients prefer to be called - calling someone by their full name, for example, might remind them of being in trouble in childhood, and of all the implications of what that meant... or calling someone by an abbreviated form of their name might instantly remind them of their late partner calling them by this name... so it's vital to treat names with a degree of sensitivity...
A name can have so many complex layers of meaning that go far beyond the actual letters that make up the name...
A child whose name has a lot of different letters might take much longer to learn to write their name compared to a child with a name made up of just 3 or 4 letters... What impact will this have on them in the classroom?
What if you were given the same name as your mother, father or grandparent? Are you expected to take on their personality traits too?
What if you were given a name that really doesn't suit your personality? If you were called 'Sunny' or 'Joy' yet you have quite a miserable personality?
How does 'Apple' - child of Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow- feel about her name?
How does it feel to be the only child in the school who has an unusual name? - I think my daughter Iona quite likes having an unusual name, but I'm sure at times she has maybe wished she was called something else...
My name 'Alison' means 'truth' and 'noble'. That kind of fits, I think - 'truth' is very important to me - I absolutely can't stand lies - lying to me is one of the worst things anyone could possibly do to me.
I've no idea why that name was chosen for me, and now I'll never know...
I don't dislike my name, but I much prefer being called 'Ali' rather then 'Alison'. Friends and close family call me 'Ali' - it would feel quite strange if someone close called me Alison. Yet professionally, I introduce myself as 'Alison' - maybe because it feels more grown up, more respectable, than 'Ali'. But I'm finding it more and more unsettling to be called Alison now...
'Ali' is who I am. Maybe that was my first chance of a bit of independence - calling myself 'Ali', even though my dad preferred the full name to be used. Maybe now, because our relationship has broken down irreparably, it just grates on me more and more... At the moment, each time someone says 'Alison', I feel myself tense up, and almost shudder... It really is amazing what an impact just a few letters can have...
But it can't all be bad - there are a couple of songs I like that have my name in them; this being one of them (Alison's starting to happen, by the lemonheads!):
Our names are labels, plainly printed on the bottled essence of our past behavior
~ Logan Pearsall Smith
My name may have buoyancy enough to float upon the sea of time
~ Richard Watson Gilder
Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
Dennis Frakes
How do you feel about your name?
What a great topic & post. I used to wonder if people 'became' their names - 'he looks like a "Peter" I used to say' for example, as if someone's name also dictated how they appeared and acted.
ReplyDeleteI'm a Martin and am OK with that. A work colleague often shortens it to 'Mart', and I used to feel slightly violated because he never asked permission and he's the only one that uses it, but I'm OK with it now.
My wife is a Deborah but has always used 'Debbie' - saying her full name reminds her of her mum being stern!
aw, thanks Martin - glad you liked this!
ReplyDeleteIt's funny that you mentioned the name 'Peter' - That's my brother's name. We always used to call him 'Pete' but then a few years ago he said that he only wanted to be called Peter from that point on...
He used to always call me Ali, but since our relationship has deteriorated over the last couple of years or so, he's taken to calling me Alison, which feels like a real snub...
It strange isn't it, how much hidden meaning there is behind it all!