'Living a balanced, authentic and fulfilling life'...



The process of healing ourselves and our lives involves being mindful of mind, body and spirit. When one aspect is out of balance, all are out of balance. Having balance in life is essential for living an authentic, happy and fulfilling life. Take stock of your life and resolve to heal, or change, anything that is unbalanced. This takes courage, but you don't have to struggle alone in this process. Ask for support from family, friends, and/or your counsellor. In taking note of the following points, you can start making positive changes in life now.


One: Know Your Identity, Beliefs and Values

Getting to know yourself is essential for living an authentic life. Once you are in tune with yourself and you really know, love and accept who you are, and you know what makes you feel happy, it follows that you are much more likely to live a life that somehow feels just right. When you know what your beliefs and values are, you can live your life in accordance with what is really important to you. Life will flow more smoothly.

• Find out what you really love to do; what inspires you, makes you feel alive, happy and satisfied; then do these things often

• Nurture yourself - on all levels; mind, body and spirit

• Be true to yourself. Define yourself by who you are – not by the perceptions of others

• Always make the right choices for you, whatever the circumstances

• Treat yourself and others with respect

• Think about some ‘rules’ you’d like to live your life by, write them down, and commit to them



Two: Let go - of the old; hurts and pains, regrets, and negative thought patterns

In letting go, we can move forward, with less baggage weighing us down.

• First, feel and explore the feelings, then think about what you can learn from the experience, and then let go so that you can get closure and move on



Three: Forgive Freely

Forgiving doesn’t mean that what was said or done was acceptable, but it is part of letting go and is essential for living life with a peaceful heart.

• Take responsibility; don’t blame others

• By embracing forgiveness, you embrace peace and hope



Four: Have Faith – in yourself, in the process; in life...

With faith, almost anything is possible.

• Faith is trusting, having hope in your heart, and believing that all will be well.



Five: Live mindfully, with presence.

Take time out to pause and reflect regularly, on a daily basis. Awareness is the key to deeper knowledge and inner wisdom.

• Introduce clarity and simplicity into your life; every day

• Be focused and effective – concentrate your energies

• Inspire the people around you



Six: Take action – make positive changes in your life. Set realistic and achievable goals...

Don’t just think about doing it – do it!! But plan it first. You wouldn’t set off on a long journey without preparing and planning in advance, so apply the same care and attention to your journey through life. But don’t just focus on achieving your ultimate goal – enjoy each step of the journey along the way.

• Determine your priorities and your responsibilities

• Use your knowledge and inner wisdom to empower you

• Make the most of your talents, abilities and best qualities; your self-esteem will be lifted by indulging fully in your talents

• Plot your own direction in life



Seven: Gratitude and Thanksgiving

Finally, find something to be grateful for everyday. Be joyful. Living life joyfully means that it is possible to rise above the problems and difficulties we encounter, and still be happy.

• Start living each day by your new philosophy – and begin the process of self-growth and living a happy, fulfilled, and enriching life

• By completely involving yourself in life, and making a firm commitment to yourself, it follows that you’ll feel good about yourself and your life, and you’ll be full of gratitude and wonder!

• Love life and live it to the full!

Tenacity...

from

Tenacity (1971):

I sit for hours at the window
Preparing a letter; you are coming toward me,
We are balanced like dancers in memory,
I feel your coat, I smell your clothes,
Your tobacco, you almost touch me.

by Ruth Stone

Ruth Stone died last month, at the age of 96. Many of her poems convey a haunting feeling of loss and bittersweetness; they are“love poems, all written to a dead man”; written after her husband ended his life, leaving her to bring up three daughters on her own...

Acts of Kindness...

I came across this little story today, so thought I'd share it...


Hospital Window
Author Unknown

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.

One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window.

The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.

The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.

Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by.

Although the other man couldn't hear the band - he could see it. In his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.
Days and weeks passed.

One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed.

It faced a blank wall.
The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.

The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.

She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."


Epilogue:

There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.

Inspiration...

Without inspiration the best powers of the mind remain dormant.

There is a fuel in us which needs to be ignited with sparks.

-Johann Gottfried Von Herder

Ispiration is everywhere...
Notice it...

Connect with it...

Embrace it...

Love it ♥

Angels...

 

Angels Are With Us 11/11/11 by abcounselling

 

 

Relax; take it easy...

 

 

close your eyes and relax for 5 mins by abcounselling

 

Some of my clients find  it helpful to have a short relaxation exercise at the start or end of a session. Relaxation can help with no end of complaints, including sleeplessness, anxiety, feeling disconnected, stressed, and so on... I thought that I'd try recording a short session to see how it sounds - if there is good feedback then I'll record some more...

Close your eyes, listen and relax...

 

 

Sticks and stones...

I came across this on facebook, and thought I'd share it, as it gives out an important lesson about bullying, going against the old (and untrue) adage 'sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me'...

"A teacher in New York was teaching her class about bullying and gave them the following exercise to perform.

 She had the children take a piece of paper and told them to crumple it up, stomp on it and really mess it up, but do not rip it. 

 

Then she had them unfold the paper, smooth it out and look at how scarred and dirty it was. She then told them to tell it they’re sorry. Now even though they said they were sorry and tried to fix the paper, she pointed out all the scars they left behind. And that those scars will never go away no matter how hard they tried to fix it. 

 

That is what happens when a child bullies another child, they may say they’re sorry but the scars are there forever. The looks on the faces of the children in the classroom told her the message hit home". via A B Counselling

I feel I should add that, yes, it's true, bullying does leave scars, and as a counsellor I have seen the effects lasting into adulthood. People who have been bullied in childhood can still suffer from low self esteem as adults, and can find themselves in the role of 'victim' in relationships and at work too. Although the emotional scars can't ever be completely erased, I think it has to be said that victims of bullies don't have to be victims forever. There is hope out there! It is possible to build up self esteem, and to become more confident and assertive, and to be able to achieve a sense of self worth and inner peace, which leads to happier, helathier relationships in all areas of life...

Learn to love your scars - they are part of your life, your story, and they can teach you a lot about life and yourelf...